guffawsungraciously | psl time: single dad au edition

...I see.

[That's... Well, that's pretty much what he thought would be the case. This would definitely be something that would stress him in a strong way.]

I have not eaten as well, so this is a fortunate coincidence. I will see if the cooks have anything ready ahead of dinner so we are not waiting. If you have no qualms with me bringing the meal back to your quarters.

No, that would be fine. I took dinner in my room last evening as well, but I simply... well, it slipped my mind, that is all.

[damn, he’s been so scatterbrained when it comes to anything other than Celestine’s illness lately, but he’s so worried...]

I will clear off my table for us, then.

Very well. I will be back shortly.

[And he steps away to immediately head off to the kitchens. He's thankful that he was able to wrap up everything other than meeting with Lazurite; his report to the king had been brief but positive, and he would save any detailed observations for his written report.

Hendrik is welcomed back warmly by the cooking staff, who are more than happy to pull something together for him and Jasper. It's not long before they are arranging a tray holding bowls of venison stew and a plate of cornbread squares. After some consideration, they also give him a whole bottle of mulled wine; there are no other guests will be asking for it.

It's a fine meal, especially for one newly returned home, and Hendrik can feel his stomach roil with hunger as he carries the tray back to Jasper's room about 20 minutes later. He's careful to mind the tall wine bottle as he knocks on the door.]

[Right, well... Jasper heads over to the table by the chaise and moves the books on maybe figuring out magical mending over to his desk so there will be space to eat, and he moves Celestine’s bassinet next to where he’s going to sit on the chaise. She’s sleeping at the moment, so he puts a hand on her forehead. Well, it not any warmer, but it hasn’t gone down yet... she whines a bit in her sleep, and he winces a bit because he can’t... do anything...

Well, not much to do but wait here, checking her temperature every so often and worrying. When Hendrik knocks, he hesitates a bit before answering.]

Come in, Hendrik.

[Hendrik maneuvers his way into opening the door, entering, and shutting the door behind him before heading over to the table that Jasper had said he would clear for them. Wondering how the maids manage such balance all the time is enough of a distraction that he doesn't take notice of Celestine's bassinet until he's sitting across from his friend and setting the tray on the table between them.]

Will you tell me what happened? How is she doing?

I noticed she was lethargic and feverish a few days ago, so I called for a doctor and healers immediately. They said it seemed to be a minor illness that should clear up in one or two days, but it has been three by now and she has not yet recovered...

[Saying it out loud, he thinks maybe it’s a bit silly to make a big deal out of it, but...]

She is asleep now, but when she is awake she is very listless and seems distinctly unhappy.

[...granted, that description could apply to Jasper at the moment, as well.]

[It's difficult not to keep his eyes focused on Celestine's bassinet, knowing that Jasper is the one in a more immediate state.]

Has she had the energy to cry at all? I suppose if this is the third day, she would have worn herself out a considerable amount already...

[He doesn't want to linger too much on how she is doing, so he tells himself to shift the topic in a little while. For now, he stands so he can retrieve glasses from Jasper's cabinet.]

Every so often, yes. It is not for long when she does, though, and she has mostly been making pitiful little sounds...

[it kind of breaks his heart whenever it happens. He looks over at her and strokes her hair again, even though he knows nothing about her condition will have changed.]

I have been doing everything I was recommended to do, but it does not seem to be making much of a difference.

It is good that you are still touching her from time to time. You would know better than most what her normal temperature would be.

[He retrieves the glasses and returns to the table, sitting down before uncorking the bottle of mulled wine.]

When my sister was ill, her fever made her very uncomfortable. My mother or one of my other sisters would stay with her and apply a cold towel to her forehead and neck.

[He's not actually sure that's what people do with tiny babies, but Jasper will probably correct him with whatever the doctor and healers have said.]

Regardless, she needs to stay hydrated.

I have been doing that on and off, yes. It tends to wake her up when she sleeps, so I generally wait for her to be awake to do that.

[...but should he??? Should he???? Maybe he should do it while she sleeps, too... mmmm...]

I have certainly been making sure she drinks often, though. She has been doing her best on that end, though she does not want to eat much, necessarily.

You may want to apply the cold towel even if it wakes her up. I cannot imagine she would stay awake for long if she is so tired.

[He'll ... leave that decision up to him. He can only provide so much advice before he feels like he's trying to dictate Celestine's care, and that's not his place at all.]

But besides that... How are you holding together? Have you been able to sleep at all?

...I... well, give me a moment.

[...she sounds so sad when she makes noises when she’s asleep, so Jasper stands up and goes to the bucket to get the cloth he’s been using when Celestine’s been awake to cool her down, wrings it out a bit, and brings it over to her. He gently sets it on her forehead, and she lets out an annoyed little grumble and stretches a bit weakly.]

Oh, come now, my dear. Has it not been making you feel better otherwise?

[He smooths the cloth out on her head... then remembers Hendrik asked him a question.]

Oh. I have been... managing, I suppose. I... think I have slept, yes. At some point.

You think you have slept.

[Hendrik repeats the words with faint incredulity, frowning as he fills both of their glasses and then sets upon starting to eat his stew. The conversation at hand isn't enough to distract from his hunger.]

Surely you have had help stop by so you can rest? The last thing Celestine needs is you getting sick as well.

...

I have had the doctors come by. And the nursemaids.

[He dips a spoon into the stew and takes a bite, chewing the venison before answering.]

...But I wanted to observe to ensure I was doing things correctly when they were not around...

And you are not wrong to have done so.

[He wants to ensure that Jasper understands where his concern is coming from.]

But if you have not allowed yourself to rest, you may miss something simply because you are too tired to take notice.

[He's silent for a moment as he drinks his wine, frowning to himself. Should he offer...?]

If you are not opposed to the idea, I can watch her while you rest. You can even have her beside you in bed if that will put your mind at ease.

[Jasper takes another spoonful of stew and mulls it over quietly, looking over at Celestine wiggling a bit in sick grumpiness before speaking again.]

...You will wake me if her condition changes, then?

[...like, he can't really argue with Hendrik, but he really doesn't want to have to worry something will happen to Celestine while he sleeps.]

Of course -- you have my word. I can even apply a healing spell on her before you sleep ... though I do not know how well the spells work with natural illness.

[It would be nice if there were preventative magical mending spells, so he could apply a spell to Jasper so he wouldn't get sick.

But he wants to help, in whatever little way he can. Jasper is already in a tough spot, being a single parent.]

I was told it reduces symptoms of pain somewhat, so even if it does not necessarily shorten the duration, it will be a comfort to her.

[...

He shoves a very large spoonful of stew into his mouth a bit sullenly. Why has he never been able to pick up magical mending? He's good at magical might, so why...

...

Well. At least someone else can do it.]

That makes sense... Then I will do so, if it will soothe her at all.

[He does feel bad thinking about the baby in so much pain, but there's only so much that can be done about such illnesses.

His eyes flit from his food and over to Jasper, taking in how miserable he looks. It's not an expression he usually allows of himself; even when they were overtired from training back in their youth, Jasper would not look like that.]

She will be fine, Jasper. Has she not already proven herself resilient?

...yes. She is a strong child. I doubt things will go wrong.

[And her illness could be far worse. She was breathing steadily, and she could keep food down.

Even so, he was still deeply worried that something would go wrong...]

I... merely wish there was more I could do for her. I feel as though I am letting her down on some level.

[He smiles a little at the admission.]

I think that is what every good parent feels in this situation. You are there for her and having doctors and healers see to her.

[Even as he says that, he shrugs somewhat and returns to his food.]

What else can you possibly do? If the nursemaids have not mentioned it, it must not be within the scope of a usual illness.

[...He can think of a lot of things, although they're... well, he really shouldn't think it's impossible. He should be able to accomplish them, but he can't. Hendrik can, because honestly, he seems like he'd be a better father than he is, but...

...well, no, he should accept it, most children have two parents taking care of them. It's fine to have Hendrik step in and help.

...but, he thinks as he dips some corn bread into the broth, whose fault is it that she's only being taken care of by one parent. Well, no, that's probably...

...

He should just accept it.]

I suppose that is true, yes. It just feels like it is so easy for things to go wrong.

That makes sense to me. She is a baby, and babies seem so fragile when you see them. But that is only partially true.

[That's not going to make Jasper feel any better. Is there really nothing else he can say?]

I am ... glad that you are so open with your concern. Your love for her is very clear.

["Glad" is probably not the best of words there, but his vocabulary is not providing him with a better word at the moment.]

...yes, and she has gotten stronger over the weeks. I should have more confidence in her.

[He looks over to her again, and it seems she has gotten back to a peaceful sleep after the momentary disturbance of having the wet cloth placed on her head. He adjusts it a bit so it doesn’t get into her face before getting back to the last of his food.

He doesn’t really feel like addressing Hendrik’s other statement. While he’s correct, Jasper doesn’t like feeling this obviously vulnerable, even if it’s around Hendrik.

...

Especially if it’s Hendrik.]

[Silence. Awkwardness. Hendrik is distinctly aware that his attempts to be supportive have only been somewhat successful, and he reaches to finish off the rest of his wine without a word.

Perhaps he should have let his help end at the door. While Jasper has invited his presence at different points, and offered a more general invitation to stop by to see Celestine, the fact of the matter was that he shouldn't be insisting so much.

...But Jasper hasn't uninvited him or his advice, either...]

If you would like to prepare your bed to rest and such, I can sit with Celestine for a moment.

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