guffawsungraciously | psl time: single dad au edition

You may want to apply the cold towel even if it wakes her up. I cannot imagine she would stay awake for long if she is so tired.

[He'll ... leave that decision up to him. He can only provide so much advice before he feels like he's trying to dictate Celestine's care, and that's not his place at all.]

But besides that... How are you holding together? Have you been able to sleep at all?

...I... well, give me a moment.

[...she sounds so sad when she makes noises when she’s asleep, so Jasper stands up and goes to the bucket to get the cloth he’s been using when Celestine’s been awake to cool her down, wrings it out a bit, and brings it over to her. He gently sets it on her forehead, and she lets out an annoyed little grumble and stretches a bit weakly.]

Oh, come now, my dear. Has it not been making you feel better otherwise?

[He smooths the cloth out on her head... then remembers Hendrik asked him a question.]

Oh. I have been... managing, I suppose. I... think I have slept, yes. At some point.

You think you have slept.

[Hendrik repeats the words with faint incredulity, frowning as he fills both of their glasses and then sets upon starting to eat his stew. The conversation at hand isn't enough to distract from his hunger.]

Surely you have had help stop by so you can rest? The last thing Celestine needs is you getting sick as well.

...

I have had the doctors come by. And the nursemaids.

[He dips a spoon into the stew and takes a bite, chewing the venison before answering.]

...But I wanted to observe to ensure I was doing things correctly when they were not around...

And you are not wrong to have done so.

[He wants to ensure that Jasper understands where his concern is coming from.]

But if you have not allowed yourself to rest, you may miss something simply because you are too tired to take notice.

[He's silent for a moment as he drinks his wine, frowning to himself. Should he offer...?]

If you are not opposed to the idea, I can watch her while you rest. You can even have her beside you in bed if that will put your mind at ease.

[Jasper takes another spoonful of stew and mulls it over quietly, looking over at Celestine wiggling a bit in sick grumpiness before speaking again.]

...You will wake me if her condition changes, then?

[...like, he can't really argue with Hendrik, but he really doesn't want to have to worry something will happen to Celestine while he sleeps.]

Of course -- you have my word. I can even apply a healing spell on her before you sleep ... though I do not know how well the spells work with natural illness.

[It would be nice if there were preventative magical mending spells, so he could apply a spell to Jasper so he wouldn't get sick.

But he wants to help, in whatever little way he can. Jasper is already in a tough spot, being a single parent.]

I was told it reduces symptoms of pain somewhat, so even if it does not necessarily shorten the duration, it will be a comfort to her.

[...

He shoves a very large spoonful of stew into his mouth a bit sullenly. Why has he never been able to pick up magical mending? He's good at magical might, so why...

...

Well. At least someone else can do it.]

That makes sense... Then I will do so, if it will soothe her at all.

[He does feel bad thinking about the baby in so much pain, but there's only so much that can be done about such illnesses.

His eyes flit from his food and over to Jasper, taking in how miserable he looks. It's not an expression he usually allows of himself; even when they were overtired from training back in their youth, Jasper would not look like that.]

She will be fine, Jasper. Has she not already proven herself resilient?

...yes. She is a strong child. I doubt things will go wrong.

[And her illness could be far worse. She was breathing steadily, and she could keep food down.

Even so, he was still deeply worried that something would go wrong...]

I... merely wish there was more I could do for her. I feel as though I am letting her down on some level.

[He smiles a little at the admission.]

I think that is what every good parent feels in this situation. You are there for her and having doctors and healers see to her.

[Even as he says that, he shrugs somewhat and returns to his food.]

What else can you possibly do? If the nursemaids have not mentioned it, it must not be within the scope of a usual illness.

[...He can think of a lot of things, although they're... well, he really shouldn't think it's impossible. He should be able to accomplish them, but he can't. Hendrik can, because honestly, he seems like he'd be a better father than he is, but...

...well, no, he should accept it, most children have two parents taking care of them. It's fine to have Hendrik step in and help.

...but, he thinks as he dips some corn bread into the broth, whose fault is it that she's only being taken care of by one parent. Well, no, that's probably...

...

He should just accept it.]

I suppose that is true, yes. It just feels like it is so easy for things to go wrong.

That makes sense to me. She is a baby, and babies seem so fragile when you see them. But that is only partially true.

[That's not going to make Jasper feel any better. Is there really nothing else he can say?]

I am ... glad that you are so open with your concern. Your love for her is very clear.

["Glad" is probably not the best of words there, but his vocabulary is not providing him with a better word at the moment.]

...yes, and she has gotten stronger over the weeks. I should have more confidence in her.

[He looks over to her again, and it seems she has gotten back to a peaceful sleep after the momentary disturbance of having the wet cloth placed on her head. He adjusts it a bit so it doesn’t get into her face before getting back to the last of his food.

He doesn’t really feel like addressing Hendrik’s other statement. While he’s correct, Jasper doesn’t like feeling this obviously vulnerable, even if it’s around Hendrik.

...

Especially if it’s Hendrik.]

[Silence. Awkwardness. Hendrik is distinctly aware that his attempts to be supportive have only been somewhat successful, and he reaches to finish off the rest of his wine without a word.

Perhaps he should have let his help end at the door. While Jasper has invited his presence at different points, and offered a more general invitation to stop by to see Celestine, the fact of the matter was that he shouldn't be insisting so much.

...But Jasper hasn't uninvited him or his advice, either...]

If you would like to prepare your bed to rest and such, I can sit with Celestine for a moment.

[...why did it have to be like this? Jasper wanted to actually be happy to see Hendrik again. Well... he kind of was, since his help had been appreciated, but he was also still miserable otherwise. Instead of being able to brag about how well his daughter was doing, he was left feeling inadequate in comparison, so it was a wash, really. At least the food had been good, and he had wine to down in one drink.

...

Well, anyway, he’ll nod as he sets his cutlery aside and stands up.]

Yes. Thank you, Hendrik. I will not take long.

[He heads behind his divider, takes his shirt off, and undoes his hair tie, then washes his face off a bit in the basin because it does make him feel just a little bit better.]

[He could eat more. He probably should eat more, given he had just returned from traveling. But the oddly awkward air does something to his appetite, leaving him to stand and take Jasper's space next to Celestine's bassinet.

She's so flushed with fever. He can't remember ever being so ill. Would it not be better if adults could somehow draw away the illness of children and take it unto themselves? A crazy idea, certainly.

Still, he wishes he could do something like that for Jasper. If he could make that stress of worrying about a loved one disappear, he would. He wouldn't wish that feeling upon anyone.]

[Okay, his face is clean. He’s probably good to hop in bed now, so he’ll head back over. You know, shirtless and with his hair down.]

I believe I am ready, then. Though, will I be imposing if you stay here while I am resting?

[Hendrik did offer, but he thinks he should ask regardless...]

[Hendrik looks up as Jasper walks back into view, blinking at the sight of him standing there in a way that ... really, he hasn't seen in a number of years. And, even back then, he did not look so clean and yet tired at the same time. Not so much impenetrably pristine but attractively real.

...He's focusing on strange things. Or maybe there's a part of him that is reluctant to relish anything pleasant about the appealing sight when the setting is so gloomy.

His eyes wander back to the sleeping baby, and he stands up so Jasper can pick up the bassinet.]

No. The rest of my post-mission briefings will be held tomorrow. Should anyone need me for something, it can wait.

Ah, of course. I should have kept more abreast of things in the event of her condition improving...

[He gingerly picks up Celestine’s bassinet and carries her on over to his bed, setting her down on one side and then heading over to the other side to slip under the covers, though he pauses before actually getting in.]

...should you find yourself bored, I am certain Celestine would be fine if you were to take her to your room.

Your distraction is understandable, Jasper. The reports will be available when you are back on duty.

[While Jasper carries Celestine and her bassinet to the bed, Hendrik lifts up one of the chairs to set it at the bedside. He looks over at the comment about becoming bored, shaking his head faintly.]

I would feel bad to wake her. I can keep myself busy for a few hours.

[With that said, he hovers a hand over the bassinet and takes a calming breath before focusing on a word of power to activate a midheal spell.]

...right. Of course.

[And yet it feels like he’s showing too much weakness. Perhaps it’s something he could get away with if things were normal, but with the demon’s presence...

...

Perhaps he’ll feel more capable of dealing with this sort of thing after he actually sleeps. He crawls under the covers and huddles down a bit, getting comfortable as he curls up in his blankets. He looks over at Hendrik working on his healing spells and...

...mmm, he feels tired enough that he can’t think of a way to downplay it.]

...thank you, Hendrik. For all you have done for us.

[Hendrik's brows knit together as he focuses on the midheal spell, sighing to himself as the aura of magical mending fades. He then looks over to Jasper, slowly allowing a smile over the bassinet.

Maybe they're fumbling through this. They're both trying to balance their responsibilities.]

Of course. I want the best for you and your family, Jasper.

...mmm. You are... a good...

[...wow, he really did just pass out in the middle of his sentence, huh. Well, it's probably good that he succumbs to exhaustion before his mind can continue spiraling into how he feels Hendrik's so much better at this than him again.

...even so, there's still the warm feeling of knowing that Hendrik's there for him. Despite the other feelings, he's still relieved and content in the knowledge that his friend is the one keeping an eye on his daughter rather than anyone else.

...it's nice, to feel like he can have some certainty again.]

[Hendrik's eyes linger on Jasper after he trails off, something twisting in his gut at the unfinished comment. A good what? "Friend" seems like the most likely answer, but he can't help but think it could be something else.

He carefully reaches to touch the backs of his fingers against Celestine's cheek, testing her temperature even as he continues looking to his childhood friend.]

...I care about you very much.

[It is a laughable thing to say now, when no one can dissect his words. But that is also why he does so.

He only briefly leaves the bedside to search Jasper's bookshelf for something to read, settling in the chair and sighing to himself. Perhaps if he's lucky, both father and daughter will sleep a good while into the night.]

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