UNKNOWN SEAS INVENTORY

[guffawsungraciously]

EQUIPMENT

NIGHTMARE HORN: Despite the name, it's a large, twisted branch covered in thorns, with exposed portions within the wood that seem to glow with blue light. It doesn't seem to do anything here… Outside of, well, being a really big stick. You can probably whack people with it? well, he'll give it away even if it seems neat... Returned to Freyja, sadly
LABCOAT: A standard white labcoat, perfect for pretending you’re a lab assistant to some kind of professor! Keeping x2
“SOCIAL DISTANCING DEVICE:" A six-foot-long staff, with a pointed blade at the end. Yep, it’s a spear! Has all the powers of a spear, too. Like stabbing. Keeping.
RED ICE CAP: A crown-shaped cap made of reddish ice. Somehow doesn't melt. Returned to Adeline.
"EXTRA-LARGE SPICE GRINDER: It’s. It’s just a full-on Medieval-style mace. Keeping x2
“LETTER OPENER:” A serrated combat knife that wouldn’t be out of place trying to survive in the wilderness. Keeping.
FOAM DART PISTOL: A small pistol that uses pressurized air to shoot foam darts! No notable brand, but it works well enough. Keeping x2
WEIRDLY SPECIFIC T-SHIRT: Hang on, how many people does this actually apply to? Also it’s like size XXXL. Keeping for alterations x2.
TOKEN OF FEALTY: A shiny gold pendant that looks as though it has been well cared for. OF COURSE HE'S KEEPING... them. because he has two, now that Flayn's returned one to him
THE HELIODORIAN: Fancy platinum armor with the Heliodorian double eagle on the breastplate.

ITEMS

PARTY POPPER: A surprise tool to help us later. Popped off in memoriam.
DIAMOND: Literally just a raw diamond, about the size of a pea, that looks freshly dug up from somewhere. Possibly keeping.
GUMMY FISH: A ziploc bag of red fish-shaped candy. Actually pretty good, if you like that sort of thing! Eating. Eaten.
RATIONS: A set of military rations. At least they’ll never go bad? take it please.
DONUT: These donuts are great! Jelly-filled are my favorite! Which is to say yes, this is a single jelly-filled donut. It doesn’t even look suspiciously like any other kind of food. definitely eating. Eaten.
THE DREADED KNARREVIK: An IKEA-branded nightstand! Comes unassembled in-box with the instructions missing. Good luck! he might mess around with this actually
LIFE-SIZED STUFFED PENGUIN: A stuffed penguin about a foot and a half tall. Looks almost real, but is almost unbelievably soft. Up for grabs.
PARKOUR 101: A handbook on how to do all kinds of sick jumps and flips and things that cool kids did in whatever year it was when parkour was hilariously big. Would probably be more useful outside of your current environment. Keeping until he finishes reading it.
ORIGAMI INSTRUCTIONS: A book of instructions on how to fold paper into cool things! Unfortunately, it doesn’t actually come with any paper. Keeping.
"ALMOND FLAVORING:" A tightly-sealed vial of some kind of powder with a skull and crossbones on it and a very direct warning label informing the reader that it’s Literally Just Cyanide. Keeping x2.
DOLL'S DRESS: A white box tied with a blue ribbon and wax seal. Inside is a frilly pink dress for a large doll. Returned to Sara.
CHARLIE PANTS: A doll of a just wildly creepy-looking clown. Yeeted off the side.
AN EGG: Can the vending machine offer you one of these in this trying time? Hard-boiled, at least. Eaten.
A BAG OF CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES: Homemade and full of chocolate-chip goodness! Eaten.
PHOTOGRAPH: A photo of Risotto. It's ... certainly a photo alright. Probably going to give to Risotto.
BOX OF CHOCOLATES: Wow, it’s just like life! Careful not to grab the one that just kinda tastes like it’s full of shampoo. Eating.
NON-DESCRIPT GOLDEN MAN AWARD: A gold statue of a blank man, sized to be held in one hand! A sign on the bottom says it’s for… Best Grandma? Unfortunately it’s not even made out of gold, it’s just gold-painted bronze. Up for grabs if you, like, want it
BUCKET OF BRICKS: A plastic bucket with a lid full of small, colorful, interconnecting blocks. The only limit to what you can build is your imagination! No minifigures included, we’re not made of money. Keeping.
MARIONETTE: An intricate and complex puppet that either looks creepy or cool, depending on your point of view. Surprisingly fun to mix and match with each other! Yeeting x2
AT-HOME PLANETARIUM: A glass ball that lights up and projects stars! Doesn’t work if the room is too big or if the lights are on, though. Keeping.
BOOTLEG BEAR PLUSH: A plush of some strange bear that’s black on its right side and white on its left, with one poorly-stitched red eye. Who is he? Why is he here? He has a terrible aura... Keeping x2.
GAMER FUEL: It’s.... a salt shaker? Full of salt? SALT. SALT. SALT. aka keeping.
WOODEN FLUTE: Hand-carved and actually really nice. There’s not even really a drawback to this one. Up for grabs.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT MARGARINE! A single stick of unsalted butter. Better refrigerate it. Put on pancakes.
HOT SAUCE: A bottle of very strong hot sauce! Use at your own risk! Up for grabs.
HAND-MADE PAPER: Just a loose stack of really fancy bespoke paper! To make those letters you write in case of your death really pop, you know? Keeping.
DO-IT-YOURSELF MIME KIT: A very fancy makeup kit! All in shades of white and black. If being a mime isn’t your thing, it might Miraculously help you fit in with a different group of people… Stripped for parts.
PIN-UP CALENDAR? A calendar for the year 2015, featuring lurid pictures of… various robots? Sorry, Data. ..........keeping

KEY ITEMS

Rubber Hand: A rubber hand that seems like it belongs to someone decidedly inhuman attempting to pass off as human. Found in the pattern container in the sewing room.

Comments

YEAGER

[guffawsungraciously]

Thank you for listening to some of my baggage. I likely should not have unloaded that much on you, in retrospect, but you seemed like the sort of person who would be not terribly judgmental about the whole thing. Perhaps you were and you were good at hiding it, but either way, I do appreciate it.

Please do not mention this if things turn out well, by the by. Actually, do not mention this even if they do not. I admittedly hate that I said anything at all.